Hilarious explanation of the new "table":
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
One Million Zunes Sold, 99 Million to go
A million iPod killers sold since November 14, 2006.
UPDATE: Robert Bach, President of Entertainment & Devices at Microsoft (must be a fun job...) said in a press conference, "When we finish our fiscal year in June we'll have sold a little over a million Zunes, so we feel very good about that." That means Microsoft actually has yet to sell that millionth Zune, and has one month left to do it.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Two Signs
What is this supposed to mean?
Meaning: "Do not stand on the corner of a raft covered in white sausages while being attacked by triangles from below."
This one's just hilarious...
"Also, the bridge is out ahead"...
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Sunday, May 6, 2007
A Comparision Between 1973 and Now
Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack of his truck.
1973: Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack’s rifle, goes to his truck and gets his to show Jack.
2007: School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1973: Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2007: Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1973: Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.
2007: Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping.
1973: Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007: Billy’s Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy’s sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.
1973: Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007: Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1973: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007: Pedro’s cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can’t speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1973: Ants die.
2007: BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.
1973: In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007: Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Prison vs. Work
IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK: You spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON: You get three meals a day.
AT WORK: You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON: You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK: You get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON: The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK: You must carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
IN PRISON: You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK: You could get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON: You get your own toilet.
AT WORK: You have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.
IN PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK: You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family.
IN PRISON: All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK: You get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON: You must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK: They are called managers.
IN PRISON: You take it from behind so the big guy protects you
AT WORK: You take it from behind so the big guy promotes you
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Ever Seen $205 MILLION in CASH?
A Mexico meth raid yields $205 million in U.S. cash. Authorities say it's the largest drug money haul in history and reflects a vast global trade.
Read the full story here.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Error on a Mac!
I was just unstuffing a file and I got hit with this unreal time period. Luckily it only took about 12 seconds!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Hilarious George Bush Joke!
"Son, you're making the same mistake in Iraq that I made with your mother.
I didn't pull out in time..."
Monday, February 19, 2007
Meet the World
Flags of various countries and what their colors could mean:
Angola:
Burkina:
China:
Colombia:
United States:
By Icaro Doria, a 25 year old Brazilian who works for the magazine Grande Reportagem, in Lisbon, Portugal. He is the author of the "Meet the World" campaign. Click here for the official website and to see more flags.
Ballmer Blames Pirates for Poor Vista Sales
MSCEO Steve Ballmer is not happy about low sales of MSVista. Rather than blame the lack of drivers, and various other problems facing Vista, he blames the tech industry's favorite scapegoat: pirates. Teh pirates did it! Terrorism! Sorry Steve, we're not buying Vista because it's still not ready, not because we pirated it! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!
read more | digg story
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Apple Computer Box: Alternative use
You know when you buy an Apple branded product, your also getting good design from the computer to even the packaging. The boxes are so beautiful that you never want to through them out. This guy came up with a great idea: to use the boxes for furniture!
read more | digg story
March 24 2007 - Shutdown Day
Be a part of one of the biggest global experiments ever to take place on the internet. The idea behind the experiment is to find out how many people can go without a computer for one whole day, and what will happen if we all participate! Click here to find out more and sign up!
OpenCola - The Open Source Coca Cola
OpenCola is a brand of cola unique in that the instructions for making it are freely available and modifiable. Anybody can make the drink, and anyone can modify and improve on the recipe.
Sadly, the company is now dead. But since the recipe and the instructions are open source, they are available to anyone who wants to whip up a batch.
Download the Source Code (recipe + brewing instructions)
Rubik's Cube One-Handed World Record - 17.9 Second Solve!
Dan Dzoan solves the Rubik's Cube one-handed in 17.90 seconds at the Caltech Winter 2006 Rubik's Cube Competition.
I can't even do it with two hands...
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Elevator Floor Illusion
Going into this elevator would certainly makes one nervous. A sign at the entrance cautions people about construction work in progress. A more detailed look shows that the floor has been painted with an illusion to make it seem like there is no floor. (Its a closed elevator, the people in the back are a reflection off the mirror.) 
Government and Cows
Different types of governments and economies explained with cows!:
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Economy:
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows
But you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows
None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRISH FARMER:
You have two cows.
You claim government reimbursements for eight cows.
PS: mesothelioma lawyers college loan consolidation austin dwi
Friday, February 16, 2007
How about 520-Bit Color?
Aliens who came to conquer the Earth and have super advanced computers are coming to our websites with their 520-Bit displays.
Click here to read more.
President Bush Has Lowest IQ of All Presidents of Past 50 Years
Is this news to any of us? Read more here.
SUPRISE: Vista Launch Week Sales Less Than HALF Of Windows XP (well should we have expected anything different?)
Retailers sold less than half as many shrink-wrapped packages of Vista than Windows XP, and reaped almost a third less revenue, in comparing the launch weeks of both Microsoft operating systems, a research firm said Thursday. During Vista's launch week at the end of January, retailers sold nearly 59 % fewer units than XP in 2001.
24 Character Countdown
A snarky point system that keeps track of the characters on 24. Points are awarded and taken away according to what the characters do. Boy that is the funniest face ever! Click here to read more.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Stephen Colbert Gets His Own Ice Cream!
A new flavor of ice cream was realeased in honor of the comedian Stephen Colbert called, 'Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream.' It consists of vanilla ice cream with fudge-covered waffle cone pieces and caramel. Announcing the new flavor Wednesday, Ben & Jerry's called it: "The sweet taste of liberty in your mouth." How amazing would it be to have an ice cream named after you?
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Google Valentine's Day Logo...A Mistake?
Today is Valentine's Day and Google changed its logo like it usually does on holidays. However today's logo was misspelled "Googe' and everone was going crazy and saying that Google made a mistake. Here's Google's official explanation...
PS: Mesothelioma Lawyers and Adverse Credit Remortgage
Photos of People Pulling a Matrix
Gravity is a law and is meant to be broken!
Click here for the pictures.
Worst Japanese-English Translation Ever!
This is an actual sign that was on the door of a Japanese restaurant:
Idiot tries to Sell XP License on eBay but Shows it in the Picture!
I think the winning bidder will probably be disappointed when Windows Genuine Advantage tells him he's running an illegal copy of XP...
Ebay deleted the auction but here's a screenshot.
History of the Middle East
A cool flash animation showing 5,000 years of history in a 90-second time lapse. The conquered areas of various empires are highlighted from 3000BC to present-day:
Ninjawords - A Fast Online Dictionary
Have you ever wanted the definition of a word really quickly? Well you can with Ninjawords, a really fast dictionary...fast like a ninja!
Ninjawords.com
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
In Case of a Terrorist Attack, Follow These Steps...Absolutely hilarious!
"If you have set yourself on fire, do not run."
"If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor."
...and many more!
Click Here To See The Article
Monday, February 12, 2007
Saturday, February 10, 2007
A Guide to Grading Exams
Everyone has heard their teachers talk about grading exams by throwing them down the stairs and giving the one farthest down an A+...Here's the actual guide depicting how it works!
Click here to see the guide.
Your Odds of Dying
A cool diagram showing the odds of dying in different ways based on statistics:
Click here to see the picture.
Random Knowledge #2: Adverse Credit Remortgage
An Adverse Credit Remortgage is the process of paying-off one mortgage, from the proceeds of a new mortgage (i.e. remortgage), using the same property as security, even if you have adverse credit difficulties. The benefits of an adverse credit remortgage include saving money by having a fixed rate remortgage or discount remortgage rate, debt consolidation on existing credit or raising cash for home improvements, a new car, business etc., or a combination of any of these benefits - even with adverse credit problems.
Random Knowledge #1: What is Mesothelioma?
Mesothelioma is a disease that, until recently, was extremely rare. To date, little is know about the condition. However, as the rate of the disease has increased, a new breed of lawyers – those dealing specifically with mesothelioma lawsuits – have stepped in to fight for the rights of victims afflicted with this disease. These lawyers and law firms often deal exclusively with mesothelioma victims and their families who wish to claim compensation from the companies that were responsible for their exposure to asbestos. These mesothelioma lawsuits often result in millions of dollars for the victims when handled by an experienced lawyer or law firm.
Today, there are many mesothelioma lawyers to choose from. The number of lawyers and law firms handling these lawsuits is on the rise. Many of these lawyers have dealt with numerous mesothelioma lawsuits and have a good deal of experience and knowledge about the disease. Those looking for a mesothelioma lawyer should chooser someone that has proven experience in the field. Most reputable lawyers will be happy to provide facts and figures on previous cases that they have handled. However, these lawyers often do not provide private information that might be subject to confidentiality. They can, however, provide you with details on how quickly cases were resolved, how much compensation was successfully obtained and how many mesothelioma lawsuits they have dealt with.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Windows Vista Joy of Tech Comic
Hi, I'd like to buy a copy of Vista. Which one would you like?
Click here to see the comic.
Microsoft Clippy, RIP: 1997 - 2007
We've got the unfortunate duty of informing the world that Microsoft finally axed the most annoying aspect of Office. They have decided to leave "Clippy" behind in Office 2007.
Click here to see a picture of our good old friend Clippy.
Mac vs. PC
Really funny Mac vs. PC ad. I'm running Windows Vista right now and I can tell you that's 100% accurate, it actually pops up a "Cancel or Allow" box every time.
Best Buy Secret Employee Only Website Shows Different Prices From Real Site
Have you ever found a deal at Best Buy's website only to travel to the store and find that the "sale" is over? Did the Best Buy employee show you "proof" on their "website"? It now seems that there are really TWO, separate websites — and they're identical except for the prices.
read more | digg story
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Sell Your Life On Ebay!
So what are your plans for today? Hmm…I think I’ll go on Ebay and sell my LIFE!! Are people are in need of lives lately?
Cilck here to see the auction.
PS: Its kinda sad that this guy was only worth $5,810…(the price may change on the listing due to currency conversion fluctuations [OMG three big words!])
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